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| Available in deluxe paperback and for Kindle. |
Video game designer Bernard Walker finds home and life taken hostage when a grisly murder goes unsolved. Desperate for the return of his new, million-dollar oceanfront view, he employs his San Francisco startup's game design technology—backed by jalapeño-infused hot dogs from a local minimart—to help solve the horrible crime.
"Flying the Coop: The Video Game Mystery Novel" pits video game designers against inept police officers, overpaid city officials, and irritating venture capitalists in a hilarious battle of wit, cunning, and vastly different tastes in hot dogs and tofu. The book, by John Sailors, is the first in the OffCide Gamer Mystery Series.
The sequel, "Clouded Vision," is due out later this year, bringing tears of rain from Seattle.
Quotes from the Book
With the escrow complete . . . Bernard headed straight from San Francisco to spend the weekend—discovering on arrival a delightful gas station minimart that stocked an inspirational selection of microwavable products, more varieties of potato chips than Bernard had ever witnessed in anything less prominent than a Super Safeway, and a deli counter selling freshly made sandwiches. Two of which he was currently alternating between.
"Meat cleavers don't kill people; people kill people, heh-heh . . ." the officer joked, meeting a blank stare.
Phil lost it. He dreaded the thought of touching a dead body; he hadn't entertained the notion of one kicking him in the head.
In front of him, the water was crystal clear, the waves rolled gently onto the shore . . . with daiquiri in hand, iPod playing Frank Sinatra, and a Chuck Yeager biography open on his chest . . . So it was like a huge rain cloud appearing overhead when his wife showed up holding out his cell phone.
Then surprised onlookers would see some giant combat soldier armed with automatic rifles and handfuls of grenades approaching a knight in battle armor with ray guns in each hand, and the soldier would look at the knight with death in his eyes and say something like: "You didn't answer my email."
"The crazy nut sawed his wife in half." "No . . . that can't count. They found Old Man Tyler innocent after the testimony of character witnesses." "What did the character witnesses say about him?" "They didn't testify about him . . . They testified about his wife—a perfectly horrible woman."
Three large virtual cannons are being maneuvered for position . . . A loud bang echoes from the hill and a half a second later an oversize dead body shoots through the air, arms flapping, and splats into the beach house's upstairs window, smashing the glass, then falls to the street below.
Read the book's Look Inside preview at Amazon.com.
Read the book's Look Inside preview at Amazon.com.
